By Kelli Bowen
We have an amazing situation in my house where I am the cause of my children’s problems. It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem.
Tonight for example: Miss A is super duper mad at me. You see I made dinner: baked salmon, green beans and kale salad. To my non-seafood-eating child, this was torture. Being the heartless, terrible mom that I am, I asked Miss A if she’d rather have some reheated ham and a “plain” lettuce salad. She thought that was a better option, so I reheated some leftovers and washed some lettuce.
After two disappearing acts, I told her to return to the table and eat her dinner, to which I get the response, “I’m full.” Not 40 minutes ago, she was stuffing her face with Hubby’s Doritos like a starving squirrel before a blizzard so Mama wasn’t havin it. I busted out a 1980s parenting gem I’m not sure if I’ve exposed her to yet: “You sit there until your plate is CLEAN.”
She sat and gazed around the room like an extra from Dazed and Confused and after about 7 minutes, which is 6 hours in 2nd-Grader-Time, she realized I meant it.
Welp! That sparked the fiery daggers behind my Viking-child’s eyes and she tried to set my soul aflame whilst stuffing ranch-covered butter lettuce leaves in her mouth at an alarming rate.
She ate her heaping plain salad and all of the ham from her plate and scowled the whole way to the sink to deposit her plate before going downstairs.
After declaring “Dad’s putting ME TO BED!” and making a "Do Not Disturb" sign for her door, she crept up to ensure I was fully aware that she was MAD at me.
I explained that as a MaMa, I want her to grow up healthy and strong which means she needs to eat the good things like salad. She can also have snacky junk from time to time, but if we get to a point where she can’t eat good food because she had too much junk food, then we don’t have anymore junk food.
I also told her I love her, even when she is mad and doesn’t like me. She walked away quickly. Then she did a walk-by a few minutes later to say, “If you want to put me to bed tonight, it’s fine.” Another five minutes later, Miss A told Hubby he was officially off the hook for bedtime as MaMa is putting Miss A to bed tonight.
So stay strong all of you mean ol’ parents. They may get super duper mad, but they come around pretty quick. Spoiler alert: I’m going to wake up around midnight in the wrong bed…Miss A gives the BEST Nuggles.
Kelli makes her home in Cass County with her husband, two daughters (10 and 7) and two dogs. She works for a regional seed company by day and tries to be an alright mom, wife, friend and writer by night.
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