illustration from Pixabay
By Kelli Bowen
Valentine’s Day was this week. I think out of all “holidays,” my dislike for Valentine’s Day is one of the strongest (okay it’s actually probably tied for worst holiday with Columbus Day). I have several reasons why this red-hearted holiday is the worst, and I’m going to lay some of them out here. You have been warned.
The day is for couples, but why? Isn’t emotionally coupling up, tax advantages and best friend with benefits already enough? Is it necessary to parade around saying "See someone loves me? I have some soon-to-be-dead flowers and a large piece of garbage wrapped around over priced chocolates to prove it!!"
When is single person day? (The single people are saying, "Every day Kelli, every…day.") I think we should start a holiday where single and silent are celebrated. If a person isn’t single, he or she can just celebrate time alone. I want to go into a restaurant and order a single meal, complete with dessert and then a take home gift of a cooling face mask, some scented bath salts and an inspirational, yet affirming, anecdote narrated by Morgan Freeman, Mike Rose or Sam Elliott to calmly end my night of alone bliss.
What if we turned it into a day where you tell a person, who previously maybe wasn’t aware, that you love them? Wouldn’t that be fun?? How about making a big heart card for the FedEx guy who lovingly hides your packages out of street view? Give your favorite cashier at the grocery store a red balloon bouquet. What about the person always walking the dog with the blinking collar? That dog is so well loved. The more I think about it, this could easily snowball into a stalker holiday.
The point is: if you need a day on the calendar to remind you to tell your significant other that they are loved, you’re probably doing it wrong.
I can only speak for me, but a random act of kindness, on a random day, is ALWAYS going to win over an overpriced bouquet of flowers delivered because the greeting card company said you should.
I realize I may not speak for all people, so if you are coupled with a female who likes the whole Valentine’s Day thing, and you messed up and did NOT deliver, may I suggest:
Wait two more days and order flowers, send them TO HER SOMEWHERE PUBLIC: her job, where she volunteers, the school, you want witnesses. Tell her this way, hers will outlast everyone else’s, just like your love for her (I know…this is GOLD).
When you fill up for gas, get coffee, stop ANYWHERE, get her something: her favorite candy bar (I was thinking of my sweetie), a lottery ticket (I was thinking how lucky I am to be with you, so thought maybe we could cash in), a coffee (here’s a pick me up, for my pick me up).
I know. It’s terrible, but if you have coupled with a goopy-woopy-person, this might save you.
Of course, you could try just not being an inattentive jerk the rest of the year, so you don’t have to put so much stock in this one over-commercialized sham of a holiday, but hey, that’s just me,
Only 363 days until next Valentine’s Day. Don’t screw it up.
Kelli makes her home in Cass County with her husband, two daughters (8 and 5) and two dogs. She works for a regional seed company by day and tries to be an alright mom, wife, friend and writer by night.
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