Image by cromaconceptovisual from Pixabay
By Kelli Bowen
Oh my gosh you guys! I have so much time on my hands and have gotten SO MANY things done during this time of social-distancing and saving the world by staying home!
If the above statement applies to you, please stop reading. This post is not for you, Janet. This is for the rest of us.
I thought I loved my friends, but when I see online posts about Missy going for a hike to a little local landmark to practice social distancing (I can’t even get an hour to myself to walk to the end of the road), or Rena FINALLY has gotten into a “quar-routine” that allows her to start her day with 40 minutes of soul-mellowing yoga (Again…my workout is from my bed to my desk and back), or Steve finally finished that man-cave in the basement (I have one piece of paneling leaned against a wall…it’s been like that for 4 months), or Lisa uses her former commute time as workout time and has already lost 15 pounds (I’ve gained 16.2 pounds LISA), or Cindy managed to paint and ship-lap that tired-looking office space (I’m legit working from my spare bedroom closet on a counter made from a busted coffee table), Bonnie has dozens of adorable photos with her playing with her grandchildren because they’re part of her “pod” (My children haven’t seen their cousins in over 2 months and grandma doesn’t have wifi so they can’t even video chat with her), or Denise decided to mix-it-up and drive out to the lake and just watch the water and really contemplate life during this time of imbalance (Are you serious right now)…when I look at these posts and see what my friends have done, I feel less-than.
I feel less-than ambitious, less-than lucky, less-than pretty, less-than artistic, less-than social, less-than loved, and the worst part? I KNOW it’s all bull$#!t
It’s not even my friends’ fault! Okay well maybe a little Lisa…but the problem is I’m comparing myself and my regular all-day, scrapes and scars life to the glossed-over half-truths and shiny lies that are posted on social media. I get sucked in: maybe they’re…maybe I’m…maybe…
STOP! Stop the insanity. Everyone’s path is different and everyone’s life looks different. Remember that hardly anyone posts about those not-pretty moments, so don’t get wrapped up in the best of someone else’s day and compare it to the not-best part of yours. That’s not fair. You’re comparing an lattice-topped apple pie on a magazine cover to the apple tree in your own yard, or, maybe you’re comparing the pie to the rotting apple on the ground? I’ve kind of lost where I’m going with this, kinda hungry for apple crisp now…but know this: nothing good comes from comparing, especially when you’re comparing not-like things. So NO I haven’t gotten any big special DIY projects done or gone on any super outdoor adventures during quarantine, or learned a language, or started a new side-hustle, but I HAVE done some things. I have continued working full-time. I have allowed my children to wake up on their own every morning. I have socially-distanced my family to a level I felt appropriate and safe. I have a house that’s disheveled but still standing. I have continued paying bills. I still have a happy marriage. I have gained some weight (not real proud of that one). I have everything I need. And I HAVE the good sense to stop comparing.
Kelli makes her home in rural Cass County with her husband, two daughters (8 and 4), three dogs, and random poultry. She works for a regional seed company by day and tries to be an alright mom, wife, friend and writer by night.