By Carie Moore
There is a lot going on in the agricultural world with mental health. I haven’t followed much of it because I’m the person who sometimes thinks if you avoid something, it won’t happen.
I have friends, family friends, and family, who have mental health issues or resorted to suicide. We probably all know someone who has been affected. My first experience was in grade school and my last was just this week. None of them were farmers or related to the ag world.
I talk to my mom about the “heavy” things in life and how to understand things from the Christian life we chose. I know what the ag world is like now, I know what it was like five years ago. I hear about what it was like 20 years ago. I know keeping up with the Joneses and social media gets to be draining for some people. For others, just getting by month to month is stressful. For others, it’s dealing with a verbally abusive family member or co-worker.
We want those people to reach out and talk so they don’t feel they are at the end of their rope.
But what if you are the one they come to? Are we prepared? I’ve told my mom there are times in my past where I have been disrespectful and done or said things I’m not proud of. I’ve learned the hard way – like most of us do – that you apologize, admit your mistake and hope they forgive you and you can move on.
How can I help anyone who would come to me? Many of us don’t have a clue how to help people with drug, alcohol, mental, and physical issues. It’s not that we don’t care. We just don’t know. We don’t understand. We CANNOT comprehend therefore have difficulty giving advice and what if it’s the wrong advice? (My biggest fear.)
Though I try, until you go through certain situations and come out on the other side, you can’t truly understand. I come across cold hearted to many but it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I don’t understand. It’s been easy for me to walk away from peer pressure at any age. I could easily say no to smoking, drinking, and drugs. Part of it was how I was raised but ultimately it was about my choices.
A conversation I had with friend a few years ago was about how both of her daughters were deep into drugs. I don’t understand what goes through their minds or how and why they do it, because I cannot even fathom being in that place. I care and I will listen, but that’s all I can do. The other conversation was with a friend who was into drugs before I met her. I told her I grew up in a town that had drugs, I’ve seen them, but have never been directly talked to about trying drugs. I’ve walked by dealers, I’ve been in places where they are handing drugs out to others, but I have never been approached. She told me, “You never will be because they can tell by the way you carry yourself, you’re not an easy target.” Even if they don’t know you, they can “read” you. Some people have insecurities and flaws they wear on their sleeve for the world to see, and there are people who prey on that.
If anyone wants to talk with me, I will probably say a quick prayer to guide my words because it’s going to take a larger power than me to say the right things.
No matter what, we all need to be aware of mental health in today’s society and for the future. If you are like me, and aren’t sure how to help, here are links to resources that might be beneficial:
NAMI.org: Tips to help a person with mental illness
Mental Health America of North Dakota – (701) 255-3692
North Dakota Mediation Service – (844) 642-4567 or (701) 328-4567
North Dakota Farm Management Education – (701) 328-3179
FirstLink Hotline – 2-1-1 or (701) 235-7335
Take this quiz to learn about mental health myths: